chpt 3

Chapter 2
Week one... no kids just counselor.

The first week of camp was one of camper-free bliss. The counselors divided their time between training, team building exercises, getting to know you games, learning how to handle conflicts and preparing the camp grounds. There were nearly 200 counselors and staff working in four camps and it was easy to get lost in the crowd. It was overwhelming and exciting, with a diverse staff. For some this was their twentieth year returning and they knew the camp from having spent countless hours there. But I was not alone as a newcomer and finding a nitch of friends to felt comfortable with was key to surviving this week of training hell. And I found mine, I was one of five girls whose group dynamics as the summer progressed would change dramatically. As our true personality emerged we would break off into sub cliche' and find new friends. But for the time being, have a little group of friends among all those strangers was a comfort.

Initially I was impressed by each one of these girls. We were each unique, having lived very different lives but fit together in an easy, natural way. Amie with her quite nature, kind eyes and brilliance. Not only did we share the same job, but as we would learn many other interests and common values. I felt safe in her company. Surrounded by so many strangers, it was a comfort to be near someone who I felt connected to in an intangible way.

Sara grew up just minutes from where I lived and we shared a common upbringing. Though her life had been rough, she knew how to have fun... most of the time getting herself into trouble. She lived her life hard and strong and like myself, with no distinct purpose. I related to her depressive and manic tendencies, self destructive humor and no regrets party rule. Later in the summer I would wish longingly for her energetic personality. Her time at camp was cut short.

Annie was funny, kept me smiling all the time. She was responsible as a former-camper-turned counselor. Annie knew the ropes and had familiarity with the camp the rest of us lacked. She always joked self consciously about being home schooled and being a tomboy. Though she was not totally comfortable being gay at camp she was comfortable expressing her masculine side. It should have seemed obvious that she was gay, but unless you're looking for it, those types of characteristics can go unnoticed. It was not until the night she told her she was gay that the pieces of her personality fell into place.

I'm unsure of how I was viewed by the others but that didn't really matter much then and matters even less now. Aside from the occasional e-mail I have no contact with them. Their lives as I know it have come to a stand still. They are frozen in my memory, a snap shot of each taken from my narrow view.