Warning: Angry person writing

Warning: Fouled Language, Sarcasm, Mean Jokes, Personal Insults, Excessive Acronym Use & Bitching To Follow

nataliedee.com

Today I just wanna tell everyone to f* off! GFY Good For You! I'm so glad everyone has someone. Everyone has found the love of their life at the age of 20, 17, 22, 21. Well FYI NO you haven't. I might sound like a Bitch but someone has to tell the truth.

• Friends don't let friends drive drunk

• Friends don't let friends ditch their friends, lives, personal hygiene and abandon commitments, just cause friends think they've found "the one".

P.S. Lesbians who move in together after being together for less then 2 months ARE STUPID. Yeah you're stupid. I said it. U-haul all you want but when you break up, cry every night, feel alone and wanna kill yourself. I WON'T CARE. I'll just say I-told-you-so!

Again today sucked.... a lot. And a quick shout out to my friend who's apartment building was on fire last night. YIKES!!! (but Natalie Dee Cartoons make me happy so here is another for you)

And I'm back with only a slight headache. Tomorrow I'm suppose to go see my therapist. Why am I in therapy you might ask? Clare you seem so level headed, motivated, you don't have a substance abuse problem. Wanna know why I'm in therapy, I went, of my own dam free will.

REALLY? After only three sessions I'm regretting it already. This guy is soooooo stupid, it makes me cry. No seriously most people go to therapy and cry about how their mom never loved them, their father was distant during their childhood, and now they can't stop drinking. I'm not like that. When I cry, it's cause my therapist is making me cry out of pity. He speaks so slow and I'm convinced it's because he's actually a 5-year-old boy trapped in an adults body. This five year old boy likes to read, play with toy cars and make poo-poos in the toilet.

I thought to be a therapist you had to be smart. I don’t even think he has an IQ. And for all those jackasses who are thinking to themselves “he has to have an IQ, you should be saying he has a low IQ” I KNOW THAT! It’s a joke. Most of what I write is a joke. Cause I’m a sarcastic mofo.

Sarcasm has made my life a happier place. But the plot twist on cashmere mafia doesn't. A pregnant lesbian and a bi straight girl who wears triangle earings. They might be staying together. Who knows! Find out next week.

Lesbian Best Friends

NOTE: this is a post which i've been working on and off with for about two weeks. It's turned into one of the most ironic post yet. Because as I've proven through my own actions, i'm a total hypocrite. So take this post with a grain of salt. What I write is true, but I don't always follow my own advise.

There is a fine line in any relationship between being intimate friends and being intimate romantic friends. These lines are easier to see when by design, the friends wouldn't be attracted to eachother. For example, a two hetero girl friends or two hetero guy friends. But it's not always so easy. Lately I've been getting a lot of questioning about my close lesbo friends and our "possible romantic relationship" which plain and simply doesn't exist.

So where is the line between two gay lesbian girlfriends and two lesbian GIRLFRIENDS?

Here are some important guide lines to follow, the do's and dont's to stay just friends!

Do- cuddle, spoon, sleep in the same bed, and have sleep overs!

Do- announce your love for each other in public, private, online, through tx and with little notes left on eachother's pillows.

Don't- kiss on the lips

Don't- make out in the bathroom of a club.

Do- go on trips together, family trips, business trips, shopping trips, road trips etc.... trips but don't trip up on these trips.

Do- model underwear and lingerie for each other (M!)

Don't- get really drunk and confess your desire to be together.
Don't- share a jail cell (Bette! Hellena!)

Do- make-out when your drunk and then acknowledge that ewww it was gross and no you don't have feelings for eachother. Even if she was a good kisser.

So that was the old post I was working on: but like I said before, a bit has changed and I'm not the best person for following my own advice. Yeah whateves. I'm happy being single and happy having friends. Like most.

New Job

So i have this new job! YEAH which i'm hoping will give me more time to blog. Cause there are really only two reasons I don't blog more:

1. there is absolutely nothing going on in my life at all!! or
2. I have way too much going on and don't have time to write any of it down.

Lately surprisingly it's been the latter. I know right, I'm shocked too!!!


So the job, (well it's not a job cause i make about 0$/hr, it's an internship) But totally worth it (I hope)! I'm trying to get myself excited for it. Anyway I hope they don't work me to hard and i have some spear time to blog slash read my emails slash keep up on the other 500 blogs i like to read. This internship seems like it's actually gonna be pretty amazingly awesome. I'm basically working in the child care system and there is going to be tons of top secret confidential stuff that happens that I can't talk about at all to anyone! mostly stuff like kids being abandoned, forced to do drugs and other horrific acts of bad parenting.
Lucky for me the worst parenting events i ever experienced were my mom not cooking dinner ever!!! Being forced to eat cereal for dinner (well i really loved that actually) and not getting a christmas tree for like eight years straight.



So this is going to be an eye-opening experience. And there will be a lot less of this in my life (see picture at right) And there will be a lot more responsible behavior instead but no promises.

ps My birthday is coming up betches!!!!!


Also once I get all of the events of the weekend straight in my head expect a long extensive blog. A lot occurred only some of which I remember slash understand. I'm working it out in my head before so I don't have some word vomit on my blog.

A Blue View

Girl In Blue

Oil, originally started as a portrait of my friend Leslie. But I had to put it aside for six months because it felt wrong. Picked it back up and it changed a lot. The face is lost and the body is encompassed in change.

Cloverfield Made Me Sick

Cloverfield was the best worst movie I've seen. Low budget, intresting plot, hot actors, all hand held cameras, good special effects and no eye transplants (unlike the other movie would could have seen). My besties nikki and I went today to the 3:30pm showing. It was a great movie that made me sick. It reminded me of homevideos my dad use to film. But instead of being filled with little kids, birthday cakes and pinyatas, there were sophisticated going away parties, aliens and skyscraper hopping. And unlike my six birthday party it needed a warning label.

Warning: Cloverfield. PG-13 Do not see if you are pregnant, nursing, have a history of high blood pressure, a weak stomach or just ate.

It was scary! Very scary! I screamed multiple times and left the theater having bitten all ten of my nails down to little nubs. When the movie ended, kinda abruptly I might add, nikki and i looked at each other. And we both felt really really nauseous. I had to go to the bathroom, take two tums and lie down.

I'm not exagerating even a little bit: the movie almost made me puke!


My favorite quotes from the movie:
"What is that?" "It's a terrible thing." "What is that?" "I don't know. Something different. Something also terrible."

Um terrible, how about. HOLLY FUCK IT'S A MONSTERALIEN which is destroying all of New York. A terrible thing is the understatement of the century. Terrible things are when you get a flat tire or the stomach flue. Being killed by a freak monster that destroys all of manhatten. That's a bit more then a terrible thing.


There were moments in the theater that I actually thought I was gonna die!

But I'd recommend it 100%

When I Need a Ride.

Last night I feel apart. And Fliec was the only person who was there to help me pick up the pieces.

Thursday was a day which was doomed from the start. It is after all Thursday, kinda shoved in there before Friday with no real purpose but to annoy and taught. As a college student I’ve grown to love Thursdays cause it’s the last day I have class, but also so removed from the upcoming week I feel completely dissolved of responsibilities.

But yesterday didn’t feel right from the beginning. Maybe cause I skipped my therapist appointment, had been spending too much time at home and got in a fight with my mom, or ate too much and then felt really sick. I don’t know? I had plans last night, but never heard from nikki. It worked out well because I didn’t really feel like making the drive to see her anyway. So when I got home the roomie and I each had a drink. It wasn’t a real drink, it was a DRINK!!! With at least 3 shots in it. I had mine with V8, hot sauce, pepper and celery. DELICICIOUS. There was nasty beer I had later in the night.

The drink was good, the night was not. In not so many words I lost it. I’d been holding onto my shit all day, but at the frat house we occasionally visit, I didn’t feel right. My roomie drove (which was a dumb move on my part). So I felt stranded there, and I needed to leave, go home and cry alone. Roomie was ‘a waste case’ So; I texted slash called all my close friends. But there was a storm watch, didn’t answer my call, she was in the library, she was getting to drunk to respond, she lives to far away etc…. And each of my strong hold friends fell through. They just couldn’t be there for me. But Fliec could. And all I said was “please come get me I need to go home”

“I’m sorry too. I’m sorry that ive hurt you. I really am”
“I’ll be home soon. I can give you a ride if you need one.”
“I’m getting of the freeway”
“Here”

And I left that notorious frat house to get into a much less notorious car. From beer pong to bright eyes.

Yeah, we haven’t talked in over a week, and during that time I haven’t cried much. How did she know that I really needed her. I needed someone to save me from the situation and Fliec was that person. She told me last night in the car that she’s terrible at keeping a date. Invite her to the movies, dinner, a funeral even and she will most likely cancel. She’s irresponsible and would seem flaky to others. That’s not really who she is. I understand why she cancels on people and disappears from her friends. For control. But when you really REALLY need someone, when I really REALLY needed her last night, she was there. Fliec was the only person who was there.

Not m, e, bean, fed, chaz, the pachota sisters, my big, jay w, even meg couldn’t do for me what she did.

We talked in the car, Fliec knows she’s stuck with me for life! She changed me, has left a mark on my heart which time won’t ever forget. Some people walk in and out of my life without changing me, but not her. She knows that too. Fliec told me about her life. It felt amazing. I wanted to stay there listen to bright eyes, looking at my fence, waiting to climb over it and hear her entire life story. But that couldn’t be and the call from her girlfriend reiterated that. She had other places to be, even with her wondering eye. I realize that we both desperately want to be in each other’s lives. We understand and appreciate each other without much explanation. That kind of love is hard to find, a love with no needed explanation. But until I can look at her and not want to fall into her arms, she’ll keep her distance and I’ll be forced to keep mine.

She said she loves me. I said I love her.

I didn’t kiss her. Made progress. Told her my deepest fears and then climbed the fence. Broke into my own apartment. And cried.

I cried for everything that she was. For how much she still cares. She was the only person who knew how to save me last night, and the only person who could.

One day I’ll save myself, maybe one day I’ll save her?