I'm a security threat

I'm kicking myself right now, why didn't I just ask her out? Cause I'm chicken shit maybe. maybe not so much

Actually let me start from the beginning:

I spent the last ten days in Tampa Bay visiting my grandma for the holidays. I totally love flying so much. It's strange but true, everything about flying makes me ridiculously happy. The security, the protection, the take-off. ITS GREAT!!! If I could fly every week I would (this semester I almost succeeded too)

So I'm going through security when I was 'randomly' selected for further security checks. I smiled politely and thought to myself, "This is cause I'm wearing my turban isn't it." I can't go anywhere anymore without being harassed for wearing my turban. GDI It's turban Tuesday!My friend Peter suggested it's lesbian discrimination and honestly with the short hair cut, leather wrist ban, wife beater and softball mitt, he's probs right.

Maybe you like many Americans haven't been flying lately, so I'll give you a quick update. They now have these amazing new security things you walk through instead of a medal detector. It's like a stand up tanning bed, but instead of getting a nice brown tan, you get shot full of air. It's a real pleasure :)
So this machine, I set it off. Cause I'm so ridiculously good looking. Reedickulously gooood looking

I get a pat-down. But man was it H-O-T. The security personnel Ann was a real sweetheart. She was so kind and respectful, after all it was my first time. She asked me if I wanted to do it in private. (I'm not joking at all those where the exact words out of her mouth) "do you want to do this in private?"

I told her I wanted to do it private *wink wink*. She starts patting me down. Starting at my back, working down to my legs. Ann didn't neglect a single inch of my body!!!! Oh Ann

Meanwhile my entire family has passed through security and is laughing hysterically at me. My brother is making dirty gestures my way. Wow do I have good luck or what? When Ann finished patting me down she looked deep into my eyes and I quote "I can tell your athletic" COME ON LADY! I'm a sucker for a women in a uniform. Well we were only half done, she still had to test all of my stuff for 'bomb powder'. (see picture above)

Ann this is for you!




"There's so many times Ive let you down
So many times Ive played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, Ill think of you"