12-steps How to make a breakup as painful as possible.
If you follow these easy steps you will never get over the breakup!
- Call/text/think about her a lot, when she does answer the phone and you start to have a conversation pretend that everything is ok.
- Make a list of every reason she was your soul mate and read it aloud daily
- Make a scrap book to commemorate your relationship
- Loop ‘your song’ on your ipod
- Eat a lot, do a lot of drugs and drink away your sorrow
- Call her drunk as often as possible, this will insure that she knows you’re in pain and still a cheap date.
- Tell her family and friends how much you miss her
- Keep reminding yourself you will be alone forever
- Eat alone at every restaurant you went to together (for extra pain order the same meal)
- Make a conscious effort not to meet new girls. If you do meet new girls who show interest in you be sure to sabotage the relationship asapal.
- Spend your Saturday nights at home, holding a pillow and watching Brokeback mountain
- Follow her every move on the internet. Including myspace, facebook, googling her name and reading her blogs. If you can read her e-mail DO IT!
If you follow these simple steps you will be misserable forever, just the way you want it!
2 comments:
The 13th step involves consumption of
massive ounces of dark belgium chocolate which will cure anything, as I have learned from experience when I broke up with the milkman when I was prego with you. Love, Your Momma
oh mom, i would be so proud of you if you had actually had an affair with the milk man! That would be pretty a-mazing!!! But sadly I know that it's your attempt at a joke.
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