Worst Non-Date

So this is a brief recap of the horrible non-date I had last night.

Background history- I met this girl (I'll call her Tam for now) at Soho many months ago. I don't remember much about our initial meeting because I was 1) Kinda drunk 2) distracted by Laura and the Karaoke singers and 3) she wasn't that memorable. What I do remember though was initially exchanging phone numbers and then later being horrified by all the red flags this girl was throwing out. She has just been dumped by her first gf and was still in the process of getting back on her feet. This is for me a huge deal breaker. So I in an effort to back peddle I did the reasonable thing and told her not to call me until she was over her x!

Now in MY mind, that's a clear indication that we would never speak again and in a 6 months I'd be cleaning out the contact list in my phone and her number would be deleted along with that kid i met at some party who claimed to hook me up with tickets to see Damien Rice but fell threw and the lab partner I had for my intro bio class freshman year. However to my surprise about two weeks ago she started texting me out of the blue. So I thought, what the hell why not text back. After all I gave her my number initially so there must have been some reason.

Eventually what transpired was plans to meet up at some point and go out for drinks.

But what actually happened was this:

The Lead Up

I met up with Oli at Soho, we shared a few drinks before the girl got ill and cut the night short to deal with her sickening state. I however decided to stay and had a wonderful conversation with Anthony (who is awesome ps) then tam texted me

11:12 Tam- how was your day

11:13 Me- it was ok.

11:13 Tam- what are was doing?

11:15 Me- At soho having a drink with a friend.

11:16 Tam- Oh hey I'll come up and see you
11:66 Me- (nothing: ignoring the text and brainstorming a nice way to say no)

11:17 Tam- I'll be there in like 20

This is the point when I started to get worried because mind you I've met this girl ones and made no indication that I wanted to see her that moment (did I?). But she felt like that moment was as good as any to pop on over. But I'm still feeling semi ok at this point if not a lot nervous.

The Arrival

She shows up and she was NOTHING like what I remember her being. She not as cute or funny or clever or interesting as she had seemed. Beer Goggles anyone?

(Baby Clare)

So then began the slow fall into the bottom-less pit that was this non-date. She doesn't go to school. Nor does she have a job, hasn't for months, isn't looking for one, doesn't have any money and her main goal is to get discovered dancing at a club. So unlike normal people who fill out resumes and go to job interviews in hopes of finding employment, she prefers to shake her ass and move her feet at various establishments. In my head I was thinking "Who are you?"

She told me she was training for the Olympics, she runs 20 miles a day. And I was pretty impressed cause there is no fucking way I could run that much. Until she told me she finished 7th in a 3 mile run at the Detroit zoo. The run was out of 1000 people but still 7th place at a local race is not exactly close to Olympic gold. Clearly the girl was delusional, I'm thinking.

I brought up music, a subject which I thought I'm relatively good at relating to. It's the one subject that I fall back on when conversation is running low because for the most part I've heard of a lot of bands and can at least appreciate other people's taste in music. But this girl managed to strike a very sharp chord (no pun intended). Not only does she have ridiculous taste in music, she had no substantial knowledge of other music genres. So that was killed.

She did however mentioned that she was learning to play the guitar, and I perked up a tiny bit when she said this. She had in fact 'just recorded a song she was working on'. Wow i thought, we do actually have something in common, we both like guitar, and it's a total turn on. But to my dismay she followed that up by saying and I quote "I need to take my guitar somewhere to have it tuned because I think it will sound better if I get it tuned"

STOP HOLD UP!!! WTF. There is no one on earth who legitimately can play the guitar (even at a beginning level) but doesn't know how to tune it! Stop the music, this date can't get any worse....but it does.

She mentions that she didn't drive to soho, instead she "jogged over". Well fuck it was almost 1 am and I felt bad, so I had to give her a ride home.
When she got out of the car I gave a big sigh of relief. There goes one less person who I know I'm not compatible with. I'm one more person closer to finding a soul mate/someone who I can be happy with.

Being single/dating can be really hard and scary. I feel like giving up and throwing the towel a lot of times, but I think all this hard shit, the bad dates and failed relationships, the drunken mistakes and moments of weakness are not in vain. Cause when it does happen, when the ja-ja-joo occurs and I meet someone who realizes how ridiculous not knowing how to tune a guitar is, I'll fight like hell to not let it go.